Feeling Out of Control: Understanding and Regulating Your Nervous System
Have you ever found yourself in the grip of overwhelming emotions, where your heart races, your thoughts spiral, and you feel completely powerless? That sensation of feeling out of control isn't just uncomfortable—it's a complex interplay between your brain, body, and the invisible conductor orchestrating it all: your nervous system.
When Your Inner World Feels Chaotic
Many of us experience moments—or even prolonged periods—where our emotions seem to have a mind of their own. This loss of control can manifest in various ways: anxiety that paralyzes decision-making, anger that erupts unexpectedly, or a persistent sense of dread that colors every aspect of daily life.
According to research published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, approximately 31.1% of U.S. adults experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives—a statistic that highlights how common these feelings truly are. Yet understanding why we feel this way often remains elusive.
"I know logically that I shouldn't be panicking over small things, but I can't stop the physical symptoms—the racing heart, the tightness in my chest. It's like my body doesn't listen to my brain," shares Maria, a marketing executive who sought help for panic attacks that began affecting her work performance.
Maria's experience illustrates a fundamental truth: feeling out of control often stems from a disconnect between our rational mind and our automatic nervous system responses. This disconnect isn't a character flaw—it's biology.
The Nervous System's Role in Feeling Out of Control
At the core of these overwhelming emotions lies the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates bodily functions without conscious control. The ANS has two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system (our "fight-or-flight" response) and the parasympathetic nervous system (our "rest-and-digest" state).
When we perceive a threat—whether real or imagined—our sympathetic nervous system activates, flooding our bodies with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This evolutionary response was designed to help us survive physical threats by preparing us to fight or flee.
Dr. Stephen Porges, who developed the Polyvagal Theory, explains that our nervous systems are constantly scanning our environment for signs of safety or danger, a process he calls "neuroception." When this system becomes dysregulated due to chronic stress, trauma, or other factors, we may perceive threats where none exist, keeping us in a perpetual state of high alert.
A study published in Frontiers in Psychiatry found that individuals with anxiety disorders often show heightened sympathetic nervous system activity and reduced parasympathetic function, creating a physiological state that makes emotional regulation extremely difficult.
Cognitive Distortions: When Thoughts Fuel the Fire
Our perception of control (or lack thereof) is heavily influenced by cognitive distortions—patterns of thinking that reinforce feelings of helplessness and anxiety. These thought patterns act as amplifiers for our stress response, creating a vicious cycle where anxious thoughts trigger physical symptoms, which then confirm our fears that something is terribly wrong.
Common cognitive distortions associated with feeling out of control include:
Catastrophizing: Assuming the worst possible outcome ("If I can't calm down, I'll have a heart attack")
Black-and-white thinking: Viewing situations in all-or-nothing terms ("Either I have complete control, or I have none")
Emotional reasoning: Believing that feelings are facts ("I feel anxious, so there must be something to fear")
Overgeneralization: Applying one negative experience to all experiences ("I panicked once in a social situation, so I'll always panic")
These thought patterns can be particularly problematic because they create a feedback loop with our nervous system. As Dr. David Burns, author of "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy," notes, "Your thoughts create your emotions; therefore, your emotions cannot prove that your thoughts are accurate."
When Loss of Control Becomes Chronic
For some individuals, feeling out of control isn't just an occasional experience—it's a defining feature of their mental health. Conditions where this sensation is particularly prominent include:
Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Characterized by persistent worry that feels impossible to control
Panic Disorder: Featuring recurrent panic attacks that seem to come "out of nowhere"
Bipolar Disorder: Where mood shifts can feel beyond personal control
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Where flashbacks and emotional reactions can be triggered without warning
Eating Disorders: Often involving a sense of lost control around food and eating behaviors
Research published in The American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that these conditions aren't simply psychological but are associated with measurable differences in autonomic nervous system function, inflammation markers, and brain activity patterns.
The effects of chronic nervous system dysregulation extend far beyond emotional distress. Physical symptoms including muscle tension, digestive issues, sleep disturbances, and even cardiac problems can emerge from a nervous system stuck in "threat mode."
Reclaiming Control Through Nervous System Regulation
The good news is that our nervous systems, despite their automatic nature, can be influenced and regulated. Techniques that target nervous system regulation offer powerful tools for reclaiming a sense of control:
1. Breath Work: The Direct Line to Your Nervous System
The breath provides perhaps the most accessible entry point to nervous system regulation. Deep, slow breathing activates the vagus nerve—a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system—sending signals of safety throughout the body.
A technique called "box breathing" has been shown to be particularly effective: inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, hold for four counts, and repeat. Research published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that regular breath practices can significantly improve autonomic function and emotional regulation.
2. Body-Based Approaches: Releasing Stored Tension
When we're chronically stressed, our bodies hold tension in ways that reinforce the stress response. Practices that release physical tension can break this cycle:
Progressive muscle relaxation: Systematically tensing and releasing muscle groups
Trauma-informed yoga: Gentle movement practices that emphasize safety and choice
Somatic experiencing: A therapeutic approach that focuses on releasing trapped stress energy from the body
These approaches recognize that trauma and stress are stored not just in our memories but in our physical tissues—addressing the body often provides relief that talking alone cannot achieve.
3. Mindfulness: Creating Space Between Stimulus and Response
Mindfulness practices train our ability to observe thoughts and feelings without immediately reacting to them. This creates a crucial pause between experiencing a triggering thought or sensation and our response to it.
A landmark study published in JAMA Psychiatry found that mindfulness-based interventions were as effective as antidepressant medication for preventing relapse in depression, highlighting the power of this approach for emotional regulation.
4. Creating Safety Signals
Our nervous systems are constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger. We can deliberately introduce safety signals into our environment to help shift out of defensive states:
Social connection: Positive social interactions trigger oxytocin release, which counters stress hormones
Sensory regulation: Using pleasant scents, textures, sounds, or tastes to signal safety to the nervous system
Environmental adjustments: Creating spaces that feel secure and calming
When Professional Support Is Needed
While self-regulation techniques are valuable tools, some situations call for professional support. Consider working with a mental health professional if:
Feelings of being out of control significantly impact your relationships, work, or daily functioning
You're experiencing suicidal thoughts or impulses
You've experienced trauma that continues to affect you
Self-help strategies haven't provided sufficient relief
You're using substances or harmful behaviors to manage your emotions
A therapist trained in approaches that address the nervous system, such as Somatic Experiencing, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, can offer targeted interventions for nervous system regulation.
Nervous System Regulation: The Foundation of Emotional Wellbeing
Understanding the role of the nervous system in our emotional experiences offers a profound reframe: what we often interpret as personal weakness or failure ("I should be able to control my emotions better") is actually biology at work.
This perspective shift doesn't remove our responsibility for managing our responses, but it does offer compassion and clarity about why certain emotional states feel so overwhelming. The path forward lies not in trying to control our emotions through willpower alone, but in working with our nervous systems to create states of safety and balance.
As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score," writes: "The ability to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health."
Finding Support for Your Nervous System Regulation Journey
At Rē Precision Health, we understand that feeling out of control stems from a dysregulated nervous system. Our programs are specifically designed to address nervous system regulation through a comprehensive approach that integrates neuroscience, psychology, and functional medicine.
Our 5, 10, and 21-day programs provide immersive experiences where you'll learn practical tools to regulate your nervous system, reduce anxiety, and regain a sense of control over your emotional responses. Through modalities like Heart Rate Variability training, cold thermogenesis, breathwork, and neurofeedback, we help retrain your nervous system to respond appropriately to life's challenges.
Participants in our programs report significant improvements in managing anxiety, reducing physical symptoms of stress, and developing greater emotional resilience. As one recent guest shared: "For the first time, I understand why I react the way I do. Learning to regulate my nervous system has given me back a sense of control I hadn't experienced in years."
Whether you're dealing with occasional anxiety or chronic stress, nervous system regulation provides a foundation for sustainable mental wellbeing and emotional balance. By addressing the root cause rather than just managing symptoms, you can transform your relationship with challenging emotions and reclaim your sense of control.
Remember, feeling out of control isn't a personal failing—it's a sign that your nervous system needs support. With the right approaches and guidance, you can develop the skills to regulate your responses, even in challenging situations, and experience greater freedom in your emotional life.