Holiday Survival Guide: Protecting your Nervous System
The holidays can be a magical time, filled with reunions, cherished traditions, and moments of joy. But they also bring unspoken pressures—family dynamics, unrealistic expectations, and the exhaustion of trying to make everything perfect.
In the rush to make the holidays “just right,” it’s easy to neglect your own well-being. Your nervous system, the command center for stress and relaxation, thrives on balance. Without rest, connection, and play, it becomes dysregulated, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and reactive.
When your nervous system is balanced, you’re calmer, more resilient, and better able to connect with those around you. This guide will show you how to protect your nervous system during the holidays so you can enjoy the season with greater ease and presence.
1. Set Boundaries That Serve You
The nervous system has two primary states: sympathetic activation (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic activation (rest-and-digest). Constantly saying “yes” to others while neglecting your needs can push your nervous system into chronic sympathetic activation, leading to feelings of stress and burnout.
Setting boundaries is a way to signal safety to your brain and body. It tells your nervous system that you are in control and that your needs matter.
Ask yourself:
What feels nourishing for me?
What activities or commitments drain my energy?
Practical ways to set boundaries:
Skip a party or event to prioritize rest.
Take short breaks during family gatherings to reset your nervous system.
Practice saying “no” with kindness but firmness.
When you honor your limits, you allow your nervous system to stay in balance, making you better equipped to handle holiday stressors.
2. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude has a profound impact on the nervous system by directly influencing Heart Rate Variability (HRV). HRV measures the variation in time between heartbeats, a key indicator of how well your autonomic nervous system is balancing stress (sympathetic) and relaxation (parasympathetic). Higher HRV is associated with better emotional regulation, resilience, and overall health.
In addition, practicing gratitude engages the Reticular Activating System (RAS), the brain’s attention filter. When you focus on what you’re grateful for, the RAS starts prioritizing positive experiences, reducing the brain’s tendency to fixate on stressors.
Practical gratitude practices:
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you’re thankful for daily.
Express gratitude to someone directly through a letter, call, or conversation.
Reflect on small, often-overlooked joys, like a warm beverage or a cozy blanket.
By incorporating gratitude into your routine, you’re training your nervous system to shift away from stress and focus on moments of calm and contentment.
3. Foster Connection
Humans are social beings, and our nervous systems are wired for connection and coregulation. Coregulation occurs when one person’s calm and regulated nervous system influences another, creating a shared sense of safety and relaxation. This is why spending time with supportive loved ones can feel so soothing.
However, when family dynamics are challenging, connection can trigger protection instead of calm. This is your nervous system responding to perceived social threats, pushing you into fight, flight, or freeze mode.
To foster meaningful connection:
Seek out relationships that feel safe and supportive.
Engage in activities that encourage shared calm, like taking a walk, cooking together, or simply sitting in quiet conversation.
Focus on your own regulation first. When you approach interactions from a grounded state, you create an environment where others can relax too.
Deepening connections through regulated nervous systems not only reduces holiday stress but also strengthens bonds that bring long-term joy.
4. Prioritize Rest Without Guilt
Rest is a fundamental need for a regulated nervous system. When you don’t allow yourself time to recover, your body stays in a state of sympathetic overdrive, leading to exhaustion, irritability, and difficulty concentrating.
Rest activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to lower cortisol levels, reduce heart rate, and restore balance. Yet, many of us feel guilty about resting during the holidays, equating downtime with laziness.
Reframe rest as an act of self-care:
Schedule intentional breaks in your day, even if it’s just 10 minutes to breathe or lie down.
Practice mindfulness during rest—focus on your breath, the warmth of a blanket, or the sounds around you.
Remind yourself that rest allows you to show up more fully for others.
Giving your nervous system permission to reset is not indulgent; it’s essential.
5. Be Playful
Play is often overlooked in adult life, but it’s one of the most effective ways to regulate the nervous system. Engaging in play shifts the brain out of productivity-driven beta waves into alpha and theta waves, which are associated with creativity, relaxation, and a sense of safety.
Play also activates the ventral vagal complex, a part of the parasympathetic system responsible for feelings of connection, safety, and joy.
How to bring more play into your holidays:
Decorate cookies or make crafts with loved ones.
Play board games, build snowmen, or dance to your favorite holiday songs.
Find activities that make you laugh or lose track of time.
Play isn’t frivolous—it’s a natural way to regulate your nervous system and infuse lightness into the season.
6. Spend Time in Nature
Nature has a grounding effect on the nervous system. Studies show that spending 20–30 minutes outdoors can lower cortisol levels by 21.3%, reduce blood pressure, and shift your body into a parasympathetic state.
This phenomenon, often referred to as biophilia, highlights the innate connection between humans and the natural world. Being in nature engages all your senses, which helps calm an overstimulated nervous system.
Ways to connect with nature:
Take a walk in a nearby park or forest.
Sit quietly and listen to the sounds of birds or rustling leaves.
Feel the sun on your face, the wind on your skin, or the earth beneath your feet.
These simple moments in nature can help reset your stress response and bring a sense of calm to your mind and body.
7. Harness the Power of Breathwork
Breathwork is a powerful tool for nervous system regulation. Slow, intentional breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which activates the parasympathetic system and signals safety to your body.
One effective technique is coherent breathing, which emphasizes a longer exhale to calm the nervous system:
Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 4.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 6.
Repeat for several minutes.
The extended exhale encourages the body to transition out of fight-or-flight mode and into a state of relaxation, helping you regain balance during stressful moments.
Final Thoughts
The holidays don’t have to leave you feeling frazzled and depleted. By setting boundaries, practicing gratitude, prioritizing rest, fostering connection, and incorporating play, nature, and breathwork into your days, you can keep your nervous system balanced and enjoy the season more fully.